In the Middle of the Forest

I just finished watching Disney's The Fox and the Hound with Jayden.  I can't remember if I've ever seen it before, but I know it was his first time.  In case you haven't seen it, here is the basic plot.  An orphaned baby fox finds its way into the heart of a sweet older woman, who cares for it in her home.  Meanwhile, the cantankerous hunter who lives next door brings home a hound puppy.  The two little fellas become fast friends. . . . I think you can see where this is going.  Anyway, the fox keeps sneaking out and causing mischief at the hunter's house.  One such trip ends disastrously as the older hunting dog nearly dies.  The hunter swears that he is going to kill the fox.  So, this sweet woman has to make the difficult choice to release her fox deep in the forest in an effort to protect him from harm.  By this time, the younger hound has turned on the fox, as he too wants to see the fox destroyed. 

At this point in the movie, my tenderhearted son was in tears.  He just couldn't understand why this woman would leave the little fox all by himself in the woods.  Being the creative mind that I tend to be, I began to think of my own life while watching this movie.  (Granted, I have a lot less fur, don't walk on all fours, and don't have strange men hunting me down with guns!)  Our lives can be moving along just as smoothly as one could hope.  Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, we live our lives as good as we can, but there's something we won't hand over to the Lord.  In my own life, I always wanted to please everyone: God, my parents, my teachers, my friends.  I did the right things because I knew that's what God demanded, and I hated being in trouble.  I was your typical "goody-two-shoes."  But there was something missing.  I wasn't flirting with danger, or breaking the rules as the little fox was, but I wasn't devoting my life solely to the Lord, either.  When you really think about it, isn't that just as bad, or WORSE??  Christ didn't call us to live a life of mediocrity, rather a life completely sold out for Him.  [I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot.  I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth. Revelation 3:15-16]  I was holding back my very life, unable to release its control to the Lord.

What happens when we find ourselves in this rut of complacency?  God allows us to experience the fire.  [Therefore this is what the Lord Almighty says: "See, I will refine and test them, for what else can I do because of the sin of my people?" Jeremiah 9:7]  In the movie, this would be the part when the woman dropped the fox off all alone in the heart of the forest.  Everyone has a different story of how this may have transpired in their own life.  For me it was those months following my husband's death. (I want to be very clear that I do not believe God allowed J to die because I had sinned.  I believe that He allowed J to die because the many events following his death have brought glory to the Lord.)  A few months after he died many of my supporters went back to their daily routines, and I was left to pick up the pieces that had once been my life.  I felt like that little fox.  All alone, with a mess of my life, and no one to turn to.  Ah, but I DID have someone to turn to!  Thankfully, I had known this Someone my entire life, so I knew exactly who He was.  It was in these dark moments of feeling completely and utterly alone, that I began to see how much my Savior loved me.  He saw every ugly thought, every unkind word, every dirty look, every selfish desire, every ulterior motive.  He saw it all, and He loved me all the same.  When I am in the midst of heartache I often run first to my friends.  Friends can only help so much, and truthfully some left me feeling disappointed and even rejected.  Yet, every time I turned to the Lord, I knew that He wouldn't disappoint or reject me, no matter how many times I failed.  [If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9]  And believe me, there have been (and continue to be) plenty of failing moments on my part.  He accepts me, loves me, and forgives me, despite my weaknesses. 

It's important to note that during the fox's stay in the forest, he ran into great trouble which nearly cost him his life.  But at the same time, he also received tremendous blessings.  God didn't just allow my husband to die, and then after a few days of feeling the fire, my life went back to normal.  There were many months of intense heartache.  As I began to realize each new facet of that which I lost, I would experience the grieving process all over again.  My heart was troubled, and the relief wasn't immediate.  Why didn't God make everything all better?  Well, for one thing, He wasn't going to allow my J to come back to me.  But then, would that have made everything all better?  In the beginning I thought so, but I know better now.  Instead, He knew that I needed to experience this heart wrenching agony in order to purify some of the ugliest parts of me.  Those areas of my life are still in need of intense purification, but through His grace, I've come a long way.  [Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4]  Let's not forget about the blessings during this period of time.  Sometimes we are so intent on surviving our trials, that we miss these precious gifts the Lord provides us.  I know I missed some of these gifts, however these days of reflection have increased my awareness of each tender moment.

For those of you who have been following my rantings on facebook, you may notice I like to finish each note with an application, or a "So, what?" :o) Here it is: in the Christian life we are promised to face trials and heartaches.  We may experience different degrees of pain and suffering, but it's guaranteed.  However, it's important to note that God allows these difficult circumstances in our lives because He knows that it will be for our benefit, not our harm.  He never does things to hurt us, but He allows the pain to enter our lives for the purpose of purifying that area which we refuse to relinquish our control.  [And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28]  After confessing these areas to the Lord, we need to focus on what He wants us to learn through the pain.  Oh, and don't forget to look for the subtle blessings He places along the way.  In case you're wondering, the movie does have a happy ending.  After the fox saves the hunter and hound from the attack of a bear, the hound in turn protects the fox from the hunter.  After a change of heart, they go back home, as the fox (and his new lady friend) live safely in the forest.  There will be a happy ending for those of us who have accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior, too!  If not here, definitely in Heaven!  Oh, how I long for the day when my faith shall be sight!