HIS Story Behind MY Story

This is one of those posts where I really have no idea where to begin, since there is so much on my heart at this moment.  I guess I'll just keep typing and praying that the Lord will speak through me.  I will be revealing some things from my heart that very few people know, so bear with me.  After hearing Pastor Stephen Rummage's message this morning about being a living link between Jesus and people who need to hear about Him, I couldn't help but feel the Lord's confirmation on this next step in my life.  I had already planned to share my heart with the beautiful women in the Morning Glories Bible Fellowship class after the service, but God changed my notes.  (Why did I write those out, anyway?)  So, the best place to start, is at the beginning. 

This is the story behind the story:

I moved to Florida in July 2003 after graduating from college in Illinois.  I was tired of winter, and ready for some sun!  I experienced my very first GOC (Global Outreach Celebration) in October of that year.  This is a week long event at church in which we show our love and support to our missionaries serving all over the world.  We also have a call to missions or ministry for all of the church attendees.  What most people don't know, is that I went forward on the last night of this event to commit to a life of ministry to the Lord.  At that point, I had no idea what He wanted me to do, but I assumed it would be teaching overseas or something like that.  Less than a month later, J and I had our first date.  Then, six weeks after that date, we were engaged!  Yes, I know it was fast, but isn't it neat to see how the Lord works in our lives?  Over the next several years, as I would think about that commitment I had made, I felt guilty for not following through.  Then, one day, I forgot about it completely. 

Let's fast forward a little bit now.  As you know, in October of 2010, JW was killed in a car accident.  The next year following that accident was filled with great heartache and pain as I remembered the man he was, and missed him greatly.  Yet, the Lord was so faithful to provide comfort and strength in my weakest points of sorrow.  He truly carried me through those days. 

Moving forward a little more, to October of 2011, I was given the opportunity to share my testimony a few times, as well as co-lead a workshop about grieving children during the Tis So Sweet Conference for Widows at our church.  As I prepared notes for this event, I continually felt Satan trying to attack.  He fed all sorts of lies to me, but the most significant one was that I was not adequate enough to be teaching other widows only a year after becoming a widow myself.  As I prayed for the Lord to provide the courage and strength to stand in front of a room of other widows, as well as give my testimony to 300+ deacons, wives, and widows, He led me to a verse that was highlighted directly in front of my nose.  Isaiah 54:4-5, "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.  Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.  You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.  For your Maker is your husband--the Lord Almighty is His name--the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."  WOW!!!!  Once again I was awed at how He can speak directly to what is burdening my heart.  Satan was right, I AM inadequate, but that is what allows Christ's strength in me to shine all the brighter.  It is certainly no strength of my own that allows me to speak my heart to others, it's all HIM.  So, as I stood in front of this room full of deacons, their wives, ministerial staff, and sister widows, my new purpose was birthed.  :o)

Over these last few months since October (I want to make a note that I don't think it's a coincidence that all of these events happened in October.  I should begin to expect great things for that month!) that new purpose or passion has been ignited as God reminded me of that commitment from long ago.  I believe the Lord set the ball in motion with that blessed first date.  I had no idea what was in store for my life, but HE did.  He does have a ministry, or at least a mission field for me, but it's not going overseas to teach.  It's right here, where I live, in this community.  Yet, my mission field is unique.  I could never have been fully equipped to reach out to this unique demographic had I not experienced these last 8 years of my life.  What's my mission field, you ask?  I'll bet you didn't need to ask, but thought I'd throw that in there!  My mission field is the ever growing population of young widows.  Those sweet women who, like myself, lost their precious husbands all too soon.  Many of them have small children, but some were never granted that opportunity.  These beautiful, hurting women are on my heart today, as they are every day.  2 Corinthians 1:3-5 is my purpose for ministering to these women. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."

If you read my Facebook status a few minutes ago, you saw that I mentioned I had reached another milestone today.  At the end of the service, Pastor gave an illustration about a young girl who heard a message similar to the one I heard this morning, then was involved in a car accident on her way home.  While she was in a coma for a few days, her mother was by her side fervently praying over her.  When she awoke, her mother said that she had the opportunity to lead the other mother and daughter in the bed next to hers to the Lord.  The girl's response was, "Thank God for my car wreck."  It is with tears in my eyes, yet joy filling my heart, that I say, "Thank you, God for my husband's car accident."  I am pretty sure that JW's death has saved my life.  God certainly has a greater purpose in this than I will ever know, but I am willing to walk the road He has laid before me.

What's the next step?  My church, Bell Shoals Baptist Church has a phenomenal widows ministry called the Morning Glories.  Over the last few months, I have been working with some of the leaders of this group of beautiful women.  We are so pleased to announce the newest dimension of our ministry is beginning on February 21st.  We will begin a GriefShare group for young widows.  This group will be used as a way to reach out to other women in our community who have lost their husbands way too soon.  Our goal is to point them to Jesus, the Source of true comfort, while we build special relationships.  So many people have stepped up to help us in this project.  We have a Bible Fellowship Class who has so lovingly offered to provide free child care to all the women who attend.  Even today another prayer request was answered as someone offered to let us use their home for our meetings.  Praise God, He is so GOOD!!!

I am humbled that God would choose me for this ministry.  My heart is certainly willing, but my flesh is absolutely weak.  My prayer is that He alone would be glorified in all that I do.  Please keep us in your prayers as we begin this new outreach.  I know Satan is going to do whatever he can to knock us down, or keep women from coming.  In Jesus' name, I pray that he will be bound from the leadership team as well as the participants.  I'm going to end with a verse that is so sweet to me, as this new adventure has been prayed over since before I even began my own journey of widowhood.  2 Corinthians 1:11b, "Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."